Some polaroids from my birthday
Recently, I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. It’s a cleverly disguised self-help book about finding what’s truly important to you, and letting go of everything else. It’s also about being honest to yourself—that you are not special, you don’t need to be happy all the time—and boldly confronting that. He is matter-of-fact and interlaces stories from his own experiences, history, and pop-culture.
It’s so hard to be honest with yourself, let alone with others. Everyday I’m reminded on social media that I’m not the most successful or the prettiest or the smartest. And yet, we do things because we aspire to be great. To train every day, to become the next Serena Williams. To make youtube videos, to become the next hot star. There’s a lot of expectations and aspirations that it makes it hard to fail and difficult to accept mediocrity. Sometimes it’s difficult to even start, because of everything that’s at stake.
From Manson: “There’s greatness to be discovered in accepting our lack of greatness, our simplicity and beauty amidst the complex and ugly. And in embracing our problems along with the dirt, muck and grime that essentially accompany life and humanity, we come to live the good life we always yearned for.”
At work, I worry that I’m too young. I need to be more confident. If only I had a few more years of experience, then people would trust me more, I could have gotten promoted faster, etc… In writing, I wonder: Is it funny enough? Am I too serious? Am I trying too hard? And the worst, just not posting at all because why go through the pain of judgement? While I think everybody has these insecurities, I think there’s also something powerful about not giving a fuck and just doing it. Because you like it. And it’s not for the sake of validating someone else’s perception of you.
Since it’s my birthday today, I want to set some goals for myself. I want to be more open and honest, first to myself and then to others. I want feel undaunted to share with my friends, and also all of you my own personal stories. I want to just do more things, and to not be afraid of perceptions hold me back.
Here’s to being 24!